A Spectacular Sunrise

So it's been a while since my last post, and so much has happened this past year that I'm not sure where to begin.  My last post was a shout out to my amazing teammates, and my struggle with devastating events that were happening in my life, and that I would have to keep putting one foot in front of the other as I maneuvered through the crisis.

Fast forward to now, the crisis is far from over, but I have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl Alex, and she fills my heart with joy on a daily basis.  She is such a precious gift, and her timing could not have been more perfect.

While some days are still "just keep putting one foot in front of the other" days, those days are fewer and farther between.  This past weekend my girls organized a birthday ride for me, and I was so excited to be back in the saddle again.  Working out has always been my go to outlet, especially when the going gets tough, so last spring it was emotionally difficult to not be able to go out and "smash" myself on a swim, bike, or run, while the crisis consumed my daily life.  Of course, the excitement of meeting our baby girl kept me going through the summer, and when I finally did get to meet her, it was the most amazing and euphoric moment of my existence.

Our precious gift, Alexandra.

I was still eager to get back into the swing of things, and the weekend before my birthday I was able to "get my feet wet" so to speak, as I rode a fun 20 miler with an awesome friend.  It was a gorgeous day - great conversation and a great ride.  It was an awesome feeling to be back in the saddle again.

To say I couldn't wait for my birthday ride with my girls was an understatement, I was super stoked, it had been so long since we all had ridden together.  However, my birthday is in fact the day my life changed, the events that happened that day in 2013 forever shattered what used to be normal, and the "new normal" made me feel like I was in one of those Lifetime TV movies, that this couldn't in fact be my life.  So, my birthday this year I approached with a little bit of trepidation.

It couldn't have been a more perfect day.

I had an amazing time riding with my besties (in matchy matchy of course!) on a route I had ridden so many times before, but this day it was like I was looking through a new set of lenses.  I had come through the other side of this crisis stronger, more resilient, with more grit than before.  Once again, triathlon and life have gone hand in hand.  Many of you may already have experienced or are experiencing the "new normal", when life changes so suddenly and drastically, shatters you to your very core, and challenges you in every way possible.  A day in an ironman can play out the same way - hopes and dreams you had for yourself shattered by events of the day, whether it be getting beat up on the swim, a crash on the bike, or a collapse on the run. But you refuse to give up, continuing to persevere through it, taking whatever is thrown at you along the way, taking it one step at a time.  The hard is what makes it great - when we overcome the adversity of the day we appreciate the journey all the much more.

Birthday ride with the girls a "smash"ing success!!

Rocking the "sunrise" kit on our ride, I did indeed feel like the sun had finally set on the past year and was rising on the new one.  I can't wait for all the new adventures to come.  Especially all the new ones with my little girl, what a precious gift she is.  I hope I can be just as amazing of a mother to her as my mom has been to me.  This season is for you mom.

AMAZING TEAMMATES = AWESOMESAUCE!!!

Vince Lombardi once said, “Regardless of his personal accomplishments, the only true satisfaction a player receives is the satisfaction that comes from being part of a successful team.”

I have been truly blessed with some amazing teammates in my life, and 2013 has been a year that has challenged me in every way.  It was certainly a year of breakthroughs and euphoric moments, but was also full of adversity and trying times.  Coach Dawn always tells us that an ironman is like a microcosm of life, and it certainly proved true this year for me, a year of highest highs and lowest lows; moments of over the top joy sprinkled with seeds of doubt; heartbreak coupled with much needed laughter.

I participated in my first race of 2014 last weekend, the Austin 3M.  I had never done this race before, and was excited to jump start my 2014 season.  Orissa, Brian, Aixa, and I all rode up together, and were fired up for the day ahead.  It was pretty chilly that morning, but the forecast called for clear skies, so it would warm up nicely.  We started together but did not stay together for long - everyone had their own race plans, and looking to set some PRs (which they did!).  I thoroughly enjoyed this race – it was mostly downhill with a few hills scattered throughout, but nothing too crazy.  What I remember most about this race is smiling almost the entire time, holding my pace, and taking in everything around me.  While it wasn’t a PR for me, I hit the goal I was shooting for, and I was super stoked for my teammates, who had all crushed it!!  So, why so long between blog entries, you ask?  Well…

My last entry (oh so long ago…) was a play by play recap of IMTX, my neurotic moments before the race, my breakthrough on the bike, my rally on the run – all leading up to the final euphoric moment of crossing the line and crushing that race…well, that’s all well and good you say, but what happened after?  Well, my initial plans were to train like crazy in the summer, really utilize every ounce of time I had so that when my insane school schedule started up again in the fall, I would have logged so much training under my belt that I would be good to go for the fall season.  Well, you know what they say about best laid plans…

So, not long into the summer, I developed a niggle in my foot which developed into full blown pain on the runs and occasionally on the bike rides.  So, Coachie had me back off on the running, go to Dr. Nick Milnor to get the foot worked on, and basically take it easy until it was healed.  I anxiously waited for my foot to heal, meanwhile trying to get in what training I could.  Also, about this time mid-summer I experienced personal  tragedy, an experience I have never gone through before, and really tore my world apart for awhile…two weeks after this tragedy I crashed on my bike, really just putting a cherry on top of the summer…fortunately I only ended up with a hairline fracture of the wrist, it could have been much worse, but it was super frustrating happening right before school started, and I would lose some key training weekends before my schedule got crazy again…

I was still signed up for San Antonio RnR Marathon, so I was looking forward to at least one race on the docket for fall 2013 …what I didn’t know then was that the marathon would in fact be my lowest point of the year, my rock bottom if you will, and I am grateful for the people around me, who probably had no idea at the time, but were instrumental in helping me to get through this awful period.  The week after my birthday was beyond a brutal week, one of the worst in my life ever (I do not say this lightly, I literally was on autopilot and really couldn’t function), and then to end it with the marathon, which I was really looking forward to racing it with my friends but it ended not at all as I had planned.  The heat had gotten to me and I DNFed, something I had never done before ever in all my years of racing, and to say it was disappointing is an understatement – as I was dropped off by the shuttle and started on my walk of shame to find my friends, I was truly at my lowest point not only that week, but of the year.  It was like in the middle of the marathon in an ironman, where you have been so beat up by the day so far, and you just want to sit down and rest for awhile, but you know if you start to cave in you may never get back up…so I seriously wanted to “sit down” for awhile, fortunately for me, my teammates wouldn’t let me, and urged me forward… they made me laugh on the shuttle ride back to our cars, as we planned our next marathon adventure, and it was the first time I had really laughed that whole week. 

So as I raced the 3M last weekend, I thanked God for all of the amazing people in my life, who have impacted my life in one way or another.  I smiled as my feet hit the pavement and the sun shined down, grateful for the lessons I learned last year, and eager for the ones that await me this coming year.  Everyone’s trials and tribulations look different, but at the end of the day we are all trying to be “resilient in the face of adversity”.  And as we face these trials, when we don’t think we can put one foot in front of the other, our teammates push us forward to take just one more step.  And then another.  And then another.  And we are at the finish, victorious.   

Teammates matter.  Who are your teammates?  Look around.  Don’t overlook them.  Be thankful for them.  They pick you up when you are down.  They inspire you.  They challenge you.  They won’t let you give up.  They celebrate with you in victory.  They won’t let you settle for mediocrity.  They will change your life.