Going All In - Barrier Island Ultra 50k Race Report

 

“Adversity is our teacher.  When we view adversity as a guide towards greater inner growth, we will then learn to accept the wisdom our soul came into this life to learn.”  ~Barbara Rose

 

“Father Time catches up to us all.”  En route to my swim event several weeks ago, I stopped in for my annual hip check-up.  Every year it alternates between seeing either my surgeon or PA, this year it was my PA passing on those words of wisdom.  Both know that I run on my replacement, and in fact when I was shopping for surgeons back in 2015 for this surgery, my now surgeon told me the new joint would absolutely hold for running purposes, we just didn’t know what the life of the new hip would look like, there just wasn’t enough data out there to tell us such things.  Two years ago the left hip started going, labral tears and the like.  PRP injection helped to calm things down, and a couple of years later it’s still rocking and rolling.  But I also know I am on a clock, that my run days will one day be behind me.  But that day is not today.  And as I reflected on those words of wisdom from my PA, it has occurred to me (and intuitively always knew but drives the point home so much deeper post hip) that indeed, Father Time will catch up to us all, in all kinds of different arenas.  Bionic body parts seem like small potatoes in the grand scheme of things that Time will expose us to.  There’s a spectrum, and I imagine we all will find ourselves somewhere along that range throughout our lives.  Not just the havoc Time will have on our bodies, but all that we will experience will give us perspective and wisdom unlike anything we could have imagined when we look back at our younger selves over the decades.  Personally, I have always tried to glean all of the lessons that I could from my athletic endeavors, from my coaching and teaching experiences, from all that Life threw at me.  The past decade taught me so much, and then some more.  The insight I gained into myself, the wisdom I gained about the importance of story, let’s just say God gave me a new set of eyes.  Time is very much a commodity that we do not have enough of, so what we do with the time that we do have matters.  Go all in.  On yourself, in your endeavors, your relationships.  Don’t go halfsies.  Halfway is bullshit.  When you go after a goal, pursue a passion, search for your tribe – don’t put yourself in a box, don’t be less intense, less passionate, less, less, less.  Be more.  More of it all.  Go ALL in.

 

Most struggle with the going all in, so many activities, so much to get done, so little time.  It’s also hard to go all in for ourselves when we feel like others may not be in our corner, whether it’s colleagues, friends, family – maybe we sometimes hesitate because we are placating others without even realizing it – doing what they want to do, chasing their dreams, but at the expense of our own.  So I think going all in means going all in on all of these things, not necessarily just in chasing a goal, but going all in on ourselves, of being of who we are.  To not to put ourselves in a box for others, to not stifle that energy, intensity, authenticity.  We are always gleaning lessons from our experiences, we should never hesitate to go all in to learn as much as we can.  That goal/endeavor/dream means so much more because of the whole process of what you put in.  And that process is often HARD, and it is tempting to sometimes go halfsies along the way, but don’t do it.  The hard is what makes it great, anything worth anything in life is hard.  Marriage is hard, parenting is hard, coaching and teaching (professions I’ve been in for decades now) are hard.  And people don’t like to talk about the hard, what it means to go all in, we protect ourselves.  But to acknowledge the hard, and go all in – that is so fulfilling, life changing.  Pursuing those goals/dreams that are close to your heart, and knowing what your non-negotiables are.  Family time is my number one so everything works around that.  I make no apologies.  That means I am picky with my race schedule, I do what works best for me and my crew.  But I still put those goals out there and chase them with everything I got.  I have always LOVED the process of chasing goals, of putting in the work.  I could not be happier with my fall block of training – getting ready for the three day swimfest, coupled with getting ready for the 50k, with munchkin’s gymnastics comp meets in there, school kiddos’ cross country meet schedule in there, and all the busyness that comes with the school fall schedule.  I always perform at my best when I have so many things happening at one time, and this fall was no exception.  As I chased down my goals in my 50k last weekend, I was the most proud of that, of the whole process in its entirety that went into preparing for this beast.  That’s what I celebrated out there last Saturday, giving it all I had during the process so that I could just relish the experience on race day.

 

We lucked out with a small cool front that morning, and it stayed overcast most of the run for me, weather in the 60s and much less humid than it had been.  Even by Sunday the humidity was back, and my hubs joked if I would have rather had the humidity or the big winds that we ended up having and I did not hesitate to say the big winds, hahaha!  The 50k was 2 loops of 15.5 miles, 4 times through 7.75 miles with aid stations at the start/finish, and the 1.5 mile mark, and the 6.65 mile mark.  It would have been nice to have had one in between the 1.5 and 6.65 mile mark, that stretch got kind of lonely, but it is what it is.  I had my hydration pack with me with pretty much everything that I needed, I wasn’t planning on stopping much at the aid stations if I could help it.  Actually my pack was fairly heavy to start, 2 L of water in the pack, a couple of 16 oz bottles, tons of gels and skratch chews, I was all set!  The first 7.75 was fairly uneventful, we started at 7 am so it was still a little dark out, but got light quickly.  We had a small tailwind to start which would become stronger throughout that first stretch, it wouldn’t take it long to pick up.  There would be a small craft advisory due to the wind, it blew constantly at about 20 knots, gusts of up to 25 knots, it was pretty gnarly on those return trips with the headwind.  My goal was about 6 hours, I was hoping to get under 6, but realistically looking at 6 as the mark to shoot for.  I was trying to stay as relaxed as I could on that first 15.5 miles like I had discussed with my coach, but that 2^nd segment of 7.75 miles into the headwind made it a bit harder to stay relaxed.  I pushed a bit to hold my pace, and even with the extra push my pace slowed.  At about 13 miles I had to stop quickly and pull the aquaphor out of my bag to apply it on my lower back where the hydration pack was chafing me.  It burned really bad early on, I knew it was going to get worse throughout the day.  I had applied aquaphor everywhere before the race but forgot about that spot. No good.  After applying I jumped right back onto the pace, and soon was at the turnaround point, just one more 15.5 mile loop to go!  I stopped quickly at the aid station there to refill my bottle with electrolytes (I had gone through both bottles of electrolytes on the first loop).  I got going again slowly, and tried my best to get back on pace.  At the 1.5 mile aid station I stopped again quickly to put more aquaphor on and put one of my empty bottles in the pack.  The next 5 miles dragged on a bit, I was doing a great job of continuous running, and that was another big goal, to be able to run the entire thing with limited walking.  I did do a 50k in 2018 in Bastrop, but much more walking/hiking happened at that one, and I wanted to see what it would be like to run as much of the 50k as possible.  I finally made it to the 6.65 mile aid station, and I spent a moment there collecting myself, refueling my bottle with electrolytes.  Finally made the trek to the 7.75 mi turnaround point, there was a bit of brief walking on this short stretch, but overall I kept it to a slow shuffle jog.  When I turned around and the wind pummeled me is when things slowed down the most.  Super slow shuffle jog/quick walk breaks back to the aid station at 6.65 mi, where I spent the most time at it for the last time, topping off my electrolytes, and getting a coke.  I drank about half of the coke, then I was ready to get to the final stretch.  Those couple miles after the aid station were the toughest, I could see I was not going to make my goal of 6 hours, and I was not going to make my goal of setting a marathon PR in my 50k.  Yes, a bit ambitious to set that one during a 50k that is entirely on sand, but I thought it was possible, and it really was until about mile 23.  My PR is 4:37 from the Austin Marathon back in 2004, and the fact that I was knocking on the door of that for most of this race gave me so much joy.  I cried at mile 25, when I get overwhelmed with emotion it’s what I do, and those tears were for the disappointment of not reaching that goal, but also for the excitement of being so close, and the realization that I would shatter my previous 50k PR if I kept moving forward.  Euphoric is the best word to describe that moment.  I called my crew and at mile 27 I gave up my hydration pack to the fam, I needed the last 4 miles to be pack free.  I took my electrolyte bottle and my phone and that was it.  For those last 4 miles I ran 3-4 minutes solid and alternated it with a 30 second easy walk.  Forward momentum was the name of the game.  At the 1.5 mi aid station I quickly stopped to put water in my bottle (I had run out of my electrolyte fluid just then), and pushed on to the finish.  As I got closer to the finish, I saw all of these kites, and inflatable crabs, and I mistook them for finish line hoopla so I got super stoked, then was so bummed to see it was not actually the finish line! Noooooo!  My finish run quickly deflated to a walk.  Then I caught sight of the actual finish line and started back up again.  My quads were on fire, but kept pushing all the way to that finish chute!  I almost tripped and rolled an ankle right before finishing but luckily caught myself, lol!  I was so elated as I crossed that finish line, quickly greeted by my cheer crew!  What a day!!!!!!

Previous 50k – 9:28, New PR – 6:31:21!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I could not be more proud of “going all in” on all of the things this fall.  So grateful to Coach Hillary for getting me ready to race both the swim stage race and this 50k race amidst my crazy fall schedule!  The experience at my 50k race was made even more fulfilling by the entire process that went into preparing for it.  I LOVED that crazy process this fall so much!!!!  I put in more mileage than I had in years, and come race day shattered my old PR, and even came close to breaking an old marathon PR!  So, never hesitate to go all in, to chase those goals/dreams that bring you the most joy, to soak up the entire process of pursuing those endeavors that mean the most to you.  You won’t get this day/month/year back.  Father Time really will catch up to us all.  Show up and “go all in” in all arenas in your life.  It will be hard, but it will be worth it – just go for it.  I thought this season was over for me after the 50k, but I’m not quite done yet.  Got the marathon PR on my radar and I’m all in.  Houston marathon here I come.  Let’s goooooooooooooo!!!!

Highland Lakes Challenge - Race Report

Last Spring as I was discussing possible 2022 goals with my coach, I found that I was itching to do another marathon swim.  Swim Around Key West is still my all-time favorite swim/all-time favorite race, and I wanted to put something of that size back on the docket.  Lake Tahoe swims caught my attention initially, and I considered the 12 miler, and possibly even the Trans Tahoe Relay with a collegiate swim friend who does the race with her hubs and their friends most years.  That relay sitch did not work out this time around but I’m still keeping my fingers crossed for a U of H swim reunion at this event, how incredible would that be, let’s do it ladies!!!!!!  With no Tahoe for the summer, I began looking at other alternatives, and I stumbled across a gem that I wish I would have known about years ago!!!  The Tex Robertson Highland Lake Challenge, put on by Sandy Neilson-Bell and Dr. Keith Bell (totally read all of his psychology books for swimming back in the day!).  The original format for the race is 5 lakes, 5 days in the Texas Hill Country.  Lake Buchanan, Lake LBJ, Inks Lake, Marble Falls Lake, and concluding at Lake Travis, all varying distances.  This year was the first year back since 2019, so it was 3 days, 3 lakes.  I was intrigued immediately, and the best part would be that we could stay with my in-laws, and have the opportunity for some quality family time over the 4 days that we would be up there!  I knew training would be tricky in the fall, with school just getting started back again, coaching cross country, and munchkin’s gymnastics comp season gearing up, it was going to be a very busy fall indeed!  But I’m always up for a challenge, and decided to go for it!  And I am so happy that I did, what an incredible and humbling race experience!  Highly recommend this event for all avid swimmers!!!!!!!

 

DAY 1

Day one was a short 2.2 mile swim in Lake LBJ.  We couldn’t have asked for better weather, a little crisp in the morning, but not cold, with zero wind.  The lake looked like glass, it was beautiful!  Such a chill vibe in the atmosphere, as we all checked in with Sandy we all talked about the weekend ahead, other open water swims we’ve done, open water swims that we want to do – it was so low key, but still very much a competitive bunch.  There were 20 of us total that first day (such a small event, so cool!!!), and all we were allowed to have was a swimsuit, cap, goggles, and our swim safety buoy (not a huge fan of swimming with it in a race, felt like drag, but my attitude changed a bit about it on the third and final day, hahaha!).  We also could not wear any type of watches or garmins, no technology allowed.  This was difficult for those of us used to crunching numbers, but also a bit freeing in a way.  Later I learned that a few of the athletes stuffed their garmins in their safety buoys to get some sort of reading, hahaha!  The 2.2 mile loop was rectangular like, two orange buoys at either end of the rectangle, with an orange buoy at the dock that we had to touch when we finished.  We started at that same dock, and when they counted us down to zero, we headed for the bridge in the distance, keeping the buoy to our left, swimming width wise to the next buoy, then rounding it and swimming length-wise to the buoys back across the lake.  I felt really solid this whole swim, started off pretty quick, did not sight right on target for the first buoy, but was not too far off base.  Course corrected, and kept hitting it.  Was chasing rabbits, and these rabbits had orange safety buoys attached, so they were easy to see!  I was the only one with a pink safety buoy (are you surprised? of course not!), so I was really easy to spot for the hubs, who had the opportunity to be out there all three days.  They needed another boat out there, and since driving boats is pretty much his job, he gladly volunteered to be another safety boat out on the course!  So fun that he was able to be a part of this event too!  So I rounded the buoys at one end of the course and headed for the other side.  Felt fantastic, still no winds so it was easy to cut right through the water with no problem!  As I got ready to round the last set of buoys is where I went off course more than I should have, and added to my distance (others did as well, and still others were about to cut the 2^nd buoy out completely and just head to the finish, until they were corrected).  So looking at it visually, the last couple of buoys looked like they were directly across from one another, when in fact, the 2^nd one was more at a diagonal (it was not the same set up as the first 2 at the bridge at the first half of the race), so I rounded the first buoy, and swam across the lake looking for the 2^nd buoy – I was feeling so strong I did not want to stop (I should have stopped, hahaha), so I just kept swimming, figuring the buoy would appear at any moment.  It did not, because it was not there.  I finally popped my head up and looked around, and the pontoon boat stationed at the end of the buoys with the volunteers were trying to get my attention, and were pointing to where I was supposed to go.  I finally realized I was off course and swam for the 2^nd buoy, and as I rounded that one, I could see the finish in sight!  Still felt amazing in the water and sprinted to the finish!  Final time 1:02:34!  Those of us who veered off course estimated the extra distance to be between .2-.3, so still a solid swim!  I honestly do not know my final placing, hubs said he thought he counted me as 8^th, not sure if I was 2^nd or 3^rd woman to finish.  Which I was totally pumped about with this crew.  There were collegiate athletes, marathon swimmers, masters swimmers, and the like.  Everyone was competitive.  I finished that 2.2 miler, and those behind me finished one after the other.  There were no stragglers, everyone was a strong swimmer out there, and it was so fun trying to stay with the beast groups.  The overall female winner for the weekend swam the 8 mile Lighthouse swim in Islamorada when she was 15 years old just to give you an idea of what I am saying!  Like holy moly I was so impressed with the swim versatility in this group!!!  First day was a success, we all took a group pic at the end, then it was off to refuel and rest up for Inks Lake on Day 2!

DAY 2

 

This was my FAVORITE day of the three!!!!  Point to point 3.2 miler in Inks Lake, no buoys to sight, just hit it right from the start, and keep the gas on!  Also the finish was at Camp Longhorn which was so cool because my kiddos at school had always talked about how awesome this camp was over the years, and now I was seeing that camp in person!  We were starting at the dam upstream, and then swimming downstream to Camp Longhorn.  We all piled into several boats after the swim safety briefing, and headed for the dam.  I had given my parka to hubs, and just took a towel to wrap around myself for the boat ride, it wasn’t too chilly in the air that morning.  We all chatted about previous swims we had done on the way out, looking back to follow the path that we would be swimming on the way back.  As we neared the dam, I noticed my hubs was driving one of the boats, didn’t realize he was going to drive this day, would have hopped in his boat if I had known! Of course, in full race mode, the first thing I said to him when I saw him (instead of great to see you out here!) was where is all of my stuff?? Hahaha!  Luckily he had dropped it at the race start with most of the other gear, I would need that parka straightaway after coming out of this swim.  We waved and he wished me luck, and off the boat I went.  Eeeeeeee that water was pretty chilly!  Swam to the start buoy trying to warm myself up.  Countdown started, and soon we were racing towards Camp Longhorn.  Didn’t stay with the front pack long, but the pack after that we stayed together for a big chunk of the race.  There were 4 of us, and we just kept swimming with each other, moving in front of each other, behind each other, next to other – the positions just kept changing as we moved along.  Hubs said it was pretty cool to watch, there we were, with plenty of room, all grouped together.  I hung on as long as I could – I felt as strong on day 2 as I did on day 1, and I was totally digging this point to point swim, I was determined to empty the tank all the way!  Probably about three quarters of a mile out from the finish they started to pull away just a bit, and at this point we also started to feel the wind and chop.  The big hillsides had protected us the majority of the swim, but as we neared the end, we would begin to encounter choppier waters.  By at about a half mile to go, I could tell I was definitely putting more effort into each stroke because of the conditions, but it was not super significant.  At about 500 yards or so from the finish the chop became more significant, and it was just a fight all the way in at that point!  Challenge accepted!  Pushed hard all the way into that orange buoy!  Final time 1:18:33!!! Yassssss!!!!  So super stoked about that effort!!!!  Again, hubs thought he counted me as 9^th, I think 3^rd woman.  But honestly, it didn’t even matter, it was anyone’s race, such a competitive field, and I was so humbled to be out there experiencing this race with all of these incredible swimmers!!!!  As I climbed the ladder at the finish, the super choppy water and waves reminded me of climbing the ladder of the diving boat at the oil rig at the Flower Gardens years ago in similar conditions, except then the ladder also bobbed up and down with the boat (hahaha!) so it was awesome in this case that the dock did not move, lol!  As I hopped out and visited with the other finishers, I was extremely grateful to see my parka sitting there with all of the gear – parka and beanie went on asap, I was super chilly after that swim!  Hubs drove the boat up not too long after, and at that point we saw the pontoon just down the way following the last 2 swimmers.  Again, the whole crew (today it was 22 of us) was in and out of the swim pretty quickly, I think everyone finished around the 1:40ish mark!  2 down, 1 to go!!!!!!!!!

 

DAY 3

 

Oh man day 3.  I guess it was fitting Mother Nature saved the toughest for last.  So Sunday was projected to also be a windy day, except there would not be any protection in Lake Buchanan.  It was wide open for the whole 3.2 mile swim.  This lake is usually first on the docket in the 5 day series, and it was the only one that had previously required a kayaker sherpa per swimmer.  It also was usually a longer swim, a little over 4 miles.  If I had this day to do over again, I would have asked hubs to suit up and kayak for me (although later in the race they would need him to pull out their boat that died so he was still plenty busy), but I still gleaned plenty out of this sucker going solo, so maybe I wouldn’t change anything at all.  Right from the start we were pummeled.  The race map looked a little like a rectangular trapezoid, we were going into the wind first, then would have a tailwind when we went all the way across the lake to the next buoy.  It didn’t matter.  You couldn’t see shit.  The orange buoys were not large enough to really see over the waves, it was definitely difficult to sight a line…the entire race.  After fighting wave after wave heading towards buoy #1, I realized I was quite a bit off, so I swam diagonally to right myself, and fought as hard as I could through the waves.  I was relieved as I finally approached the buoy, and we only had to touch it, and then head for the next one.  As I changed directions and headed across the lake, I was passed, and I tried to follow the orange safety buoy in front as long as I could but it was short lived.  Eventually, there was a kayak next to me, but I didn’t really feel much better about that at that time, since the kayak had nearly slammed into me on several occasions.  It was tough conditions for a kayaker too, and if you were not a seasoned, reasonably strong one, it was going to be a strugglebus day out there.  So I finally popped my head up next to my kayaker and asked where the buoy was, I couldn’t see it!  He pointed across the lake, and I could finally make it out.  So I kept plugging away.  The tailwind was deceptive as far as the help you might think it could provide.  You almost felt like you were about to body surf, until the wave pulled you back, they were too short and too choppy.  I took some strong strokes and popped up to keep the buoy in sight.  I repeated this process over and over again in what felt like forever.  Eventually, my kayaker gets in front of me, and I pop up, and he says, I’m so sorry, not that buoy, but that other one over there.  I look where he is pointing and it is diagonal from the other one, so not too bad of an adjustment.  I said thank you, and continued on my way.  So, somewhere in here my kayaker disappeared, and the buoy seemed to get farther and farther away.  I was exhausted fighting through all the chop, but my spirits were high as I got closer to the buoy and was getting ready to turn on the home stretch.  Except as I was almost to the buoy, I realized that I was almost nearly on shore!  WTAF?!?!  Long story short, this buoy, as well as the finish buoy, blew off of their lines.  The race director told us post-race that this was the 2^nd worst conditions at this lake in the 13 years of having this event, and she was going to go pull all of the swimmers out of the water, except the boat died.  So back to my shore debacle, I did some doggy paddle to get myself out of there, and did a little breaststroke to get my bearings.  There were tree branches sticking out of this shallow cove all over the place, so quite a bit of breaststroke so I could see where I was going.  Then I’d do some freestyle, then I’d see the branches again, so more breaststroke.  At this point, I couldn’t see the finish (since the buoy blew away), had no idea where I was going, and wondered if they were about to come pick me up and tell me I had DNFed (I could not see any kayakers or swimmers anywhere, I felt like I must have been the very last one out there).  For the first time in my life, I was a bit uncomfortable in the water, and suddenly could see that bridge where those who might not be comfortable at all could have some anxiety attacks in these type of situations.  I continued to do some breaststroke, and a couple freestyle strokes.  I wanted to do water polo freestyle, but that was a no go because I would swallow too much water while getting pummeled in the face by the waves.  I turned around to look back at the buoy, and suddenly I saw the pontoon boat. Are they coming to pick me up?? Is this race going to be a DNF??  The boat made it to shore but didn’t seem to be moving (it died, and if I had stayed a bit longer right there, I would have seen hubs drive up in the jet ski to pull it out) and there were kayakers heading my way as well.  I waved at them, and this older gentleman got to me first, and I am sad that I forget his name (he told me several times when I asked him, I just cannot recall it) because this man guided me all the way into the finish which I was so super grateful for.  It had crossed my mind before I saw anyone that I might even have to swim to the shore closest to me and walk it back, I couldn’t just be out there fighting those waves all day, not going in a general direction.  So my kayaker asked if I could see the next buoy and of course I could not, so he told me to follow his line. Forever and a year later, I made it to the buoy, touched it, and headed to the finish.  Of course I couldn’t see where that was either, and again my kayaker told me to follow his line.  I was starting to get cold, I was ready for this sucker to be done, I pushed as hard as I could in the cross wind and super choppy chop.  On the shore they were trying to hold up bright items like bright pink parkas, and even a bright orange kayak.  It was just so hard to see, really needed that buoy as a guidepost.  I just kept with my kayaker, and about 500 yards out I finally saw shore, and hubs was standing there in the water in front of the others on shore, and when I could see bottom, I put my feet down, threw my hands in the air, and teared up.  I gave hubs a huge hug, thanked my kayaker sherpa profusely, and just kept repeating, I was lost out there, I didn’t know where to go, I was so lost.  That’s when the race director explained with the gnarly conditions she was going to pull us but then the boat had problems.  Another spectator mentioned that they had eyes on me on shore, they could see when I was in that shallow cove, so that was good to hear.  I asked if my time counted, and they said yes it surely did!  Final time 2:10:35, who knows how far I really swam with the detour, but the swim was for sure the slowest of the three.  But I was most proud of this one.  It was so damn hard, and I was so uncomfortable in parts of it, but what great open water experience to deposit in the bank!  There were 2 more competitors left to go, so we cheered them into shore (just 13 swimmers on this day, I was just thrilled to be able to finish this race!).  Afterwards hubs went back out on the jet ski to help tow in a guy on a paddle board (the race director crew wasn’t sure he could make it in and would need help) but when hubs got out there, the paddler said that he had it.  That guy was a beast to be a paddler sherpa for us in those conditions!

Overall, what an incredible weekend of open water racing!!!  Loved that the hubs was able to participate in one way or another and be out there with me during all of those races as well!!!  Loved that we got all of the extra quality family time while we were out there!!!  So grateful to Coach Hillary for getting me ready to race in this event with my crazy fall schedule!!!  I cannot recommend the Tex Robertson Highland Lakes Challenge Race enough!!!!!  I will most definitely be back!!!!!  Next race up is a 50K this coming weekend!!!!!  What an awesome season of fall racing!!!!!  Yasssssssssssss!!!!!

PLAYING IN THE SUN – IMTX 70.3 RACE REPORT

 

This race was a last minute decision, and even as I registered, I wasn’t sure my body would be up for the task.  The last race I did was the Odyssey SwimRun in Austin in 2020, and I was signed up to do it again with my badass friends in 2021, but I unfortunately had to pull out due to injury.  That race in 2020 was incredible, and I had so much fun partnering up with my fierce friend Kris, who had done quite a few other hardcore SwimRun events, so my goal for race day was to not be the weakest link, haha!  I loved the challenging training my coach threw at me leading up to that day, and the challenging day itself.  Icing on the cake (pun intended, that chocolate cake was amazeballs) was that I got to celebrate my birthday smashing myself out on the race course with my besties.  Wish I had blogged that play by play, I love writing, it’s so cathartic, just sometimes struggle to find the right words in certain seasons of life.  So alas, those words never hit the pages, kept chasing that forward momentum, had some of the best virtual runs I’ve had in years that spring (right at 2-hour half mary virtual, best post THR!), until the non-operated hip decided it was time to speak up.  And I knew what it was when it happened, of course I had to get all the MRI/Xray information, but I was fairly positive what the results would be.  My surgeon didn’t sugarcoat it, he never does, and I love him for that – just tell it to me straight, don’t beat around the bush.  So labral tearing in the left hip, which in and of itself is not a huge ordeal, many people have tearing and don’t even know it, but certainly more of a tricky scenario in a dysplastic hip, and labrum repair would be off of the table because of that.  So it was a summer of swim and bike training, and I was just hoping the sucker would wait to rupture until after the cross country season was over.  I had thrown my hat back in the coaching ring the previous spring, I was super stoke about it, and I needed to be able to run with the kiddos, to recon the courses at the meets, etc.  I still ran in the fall short distances, but it was painful, and would catch, so I’d have to stop, then start again, and pretty much didn’t run farther than a few miles.  When I went back for a follow up in November, I was expecting to schedule a replacement for that hip fairly soon in the future, I had no doubt the sucker would rupture on me soon.  It’s why I pulled out of the SwimRun race in the summer, didn’t want to get to that race in November, have the hip crap out on me, and let my friend down.  My surgeon told me otherwise at my follow up.  That according to the latest films, the tearing was not any worse off than it was in July.  That we knew what the end result would eventually be, but we could not predict when it would rupture.  He went on to tell me that what happened to my right was abnormal, certainly it was substantially more dysplastic than the left, but they normally do not rupture like that (unless due to a traumatic injury of some sort).  So, in other words, who knows when it will be.  He knows that I run on the operated hip and that I had been running on the injured hip.  He just smiled at me and told me to come back in a year to see what things look like then, or if something substantial happens, then of course come back sooner.  It took me a little while to process this new information, like, how should I approach this thing?  Of course, the cautious side of me was chastising me in her sternest voice possible that bike and swim training only should be the new order of the day, to preserve the non-operated hip as long as possible.  But the gritty athlete in me, the one who has been chasing goals and smashing herself for 3+ decades was screaming at the top of her lungs “Let’s fucking gooooooo!”  So I listened to the latter me, and got back to work.  And those early “longer” runs were so painful, lots of stopping-walking-cussing-fighting myself to get through runs.  By early January at the triathlon club meeting the idea of Galveston was being kicked around, and that was that.  I had made my decision.  I refused to sit around and wait for things to happen, I’ve spent plenty of time in limbo this past decade (non-hip related, another blog post hopefully one day), forward momentum it will always be.  I refused to be afraid of what my body might not be able to do one day and instead relished in the challenge of seeing what it could do right now, and I am always in awe of how amazing the body is, how it seems to rise to the challenge again and again and again.

THE SWIM

 

So while I’d much rather be swimming around Key West, or another 5K, the swim will always be my favorite, even in the shorter distances.  Swimming was the jumping off point for everything else, where I first learned about myself as an athlete all of those decades ago.  Setting goals at just nine years old, I was driven at a young age, and am grateful for what drive and passion have taught me, what they still teach me today.  It brings me such joy watching my mini-me find her niche in sports and I hope she will continue to chase what she is passionate about later in life with the voracity that she chases it today.  I loved that her and hubs were out there cheering me on at this one, that she got to see me in the struggle and in the joy, as I chased down my goals out there.  Since the fam accompanied me, I was a little later getting to transition, but still managed to get all of that situated just fine, but I was having to haul ass to the beginning of the swim line.  Since we now can seed ourselves, I like to be right at the 30 min mark since my goal is always to be right at 30 or under.  Unfortunately, I didn’t quite make it there, was at like the 32-35 mark, but that was just fine.  I also chose to go sans wetsuit, because I hate wetsuits and if I can withstand the water temp, I’d rather go without.  Water was a beautiful 70 degrees that morning, which was perfect.  Pretty much everyone else wore wetsuits, saw a couple of guys without them, but mostly it was a sea of wetsuits around me.  When it was time to jump off of the dock I hit the water ready to move!  It was chilly upon entry, but my core heats up so quickly the water was perfection to swim in.  Fortunately, my sighting was better for this 1.2 than it was for the 5K last September (hahahaha!).  I stayed right along the buoy line for the majority of the race, veered off a couple of times, but mostly on course.  There was, however, quite a bit of contact in this swim, so lots of kicks to the ribs, being swum over, etc.  Not a crisis, I am comfortable enough in the water to be dunked, but it does really mess with your rhythm.  So I was much slower in parts than others, and pretty sure I was not going to even be right at 30 min mark.  Kept pushing hard right up to the swim exit, hopped out, watch read 32 min, which I was pumped about!  All smiles as I ran up the hill towards transition.  Hubs caught one of my favorite shots as I was coming out of the swim, lava berry and sunrise are my all-time favorite kits (lots of symbolism for me with both of them) so I was super stoked to be rocking the lava berry aero suit for the race, love it so much!!!!  Struggled with my bike shoes a bit in T1 so transition not as fast as I was hoping but tried to get out of there as quickly as I could!  On to the beautiful bike!

 

SWIM = 31:49

T1 = 6:09

BIKE

 

We were blessed with beautiful weather out there that day, four years ago when I did this race, the cold front came through and the bike was COLD!  However, no matter what the weather brings, we did know that we could count on some big winds on the bike, and this time was no exception.  Nice tailwind on the 28 miles going out, nice headwind on the 28 miles going back.  I also knew that my bike training had not been where it was four years ago when I did this race (I PRed that bike, 2:59!), that my longest ride outside had just been under 40 miles.  Combo of registering later instead of already having the race on the docket, and some other life stuff that just pops up as it often does.  So the overall bike mileage in general had not been where it should have been, although I did put quite a few bike mile deposits in the bank in the summer, so I would be pulling from that as well.  Coach Hillary had given me some specific instructions to follow on the bike and the run so that we would have a great day out there, so my plan was to stay within those parameters.  On the way out it was so much fun (as a tailwind often is, hahaha!) - I stayed controlled, didn’t push too hard, stayed on top of my nutrition, and generally just enjoyed the ride.  I was flying, and felt pretty good about myself at the turnaround, then came back to reality, lol!  I could not get off of that island fast enough!  The bridge back over to the mainland was literally THE WORST.  I watched my numbers continue to dip, and was like good lord, I’ll be lucky to make this bike in 3:30 at this rate!  I pushed hard on the way back, had to stop briefly a couple of times for a few seconds along the way just to get my head back in the game.  I figured by the time I got to the run after the bike my legs were going to be toasty toast toast, but had to make it back first.  And I was deep in that pain cave on the way back.  I’ve always been an athlete who understands that you train how you want to race, and that’s how I’ve coached my own athletes over the years.  So average bike training means serious suffering in the headwinds, but my decades of experience as an athlete also has taught me how to be mentally tough, that I could in this case “gut it out”.  It wouldn’t be pretty, my legs would be trashed, and I certainly would not be as fast as I would have liked to be, but I could, and would, get it done.  So I kept turning the legs over, clicking off the miles, and was overjoyed when I saw we were going to be making the left hand turn heading back towards Moody Gardens.  Four years ago I was sad to see this turn because I was flying on the straightaway and knew that it would slow me down.  Not sure if the winds weren’t as bad then or I was just in better bike shape – I’m guessing the latter, hahaha!  Such a reprieve to get the crosswinds, but then on the final stretch we had to turn right back into the headwinds, noooooooo!  I swear I was going like 14mph down that stretch, that’s all my legs could do at that point.  Finally hit the turn to cruise on into transition, and I was so super stoked to get off of the bike at that point.  I was hoping for a faster T2 transition but no dice.  On the bike, my aero suit started chafing me really bad (apply body glide before, rookie mistake! Argh!), so I needed to apply that pronto before heading out for the run.  I slathered myself in Aquaphor, hit the porta potty, then finally headed out for the run!  2 down, 1 to go!

 

BIKE = 3:07:09

T2 = 8:00

 

 

RUN

 

So this would be the true test.  And although I built up to about 10 miles for my long run, these runs weren’t without pain in that hip, and sometimes the hip would be so snarky I would have to pull the plug or call the run altogether.  I appreciated so much that Coach Hillary always reiterated to me after these disappointing runs that it was part of the process, to just see how the next one goes.  And sure enough, as I put more miles under my belt, I would have more relatively “pain-free” runs.  I say that in quotes, because there was usually always some pain at the start or finish, but those that didn’t force me to stop or slow down my pace were considered “pain-free”.  I was actually feeling more confident about the half-marathon as it got closer to race day.  As I headed out on that race course, even on trashed legs, I felt good!  As per discussed with coach, I didn’t even look at my pace those first few miles, I just enjoyed the energy on the course, and kept my eyes out for my people.  This course is super spectator friendly, so I was sure that I would see them multiple times throughout the run.  Beautiful weather, the best energy, hips weren’t snarky yet – I was feeling all kinds of grateful to be out there running on that course when just a few months prior there wasn’t a running goal in sight.  So this course is 3 loops through the Moody Gardens Park, as I headed through the first loop, I was surprised that I hadn’t seen the fam yet.  They had plenty of time to get back after the swim, and this course was super easy to post up at a place and see your people all day long.  As I continued along loop 2, this uneasy feeling crept in, and if any of you ever have any kind of anxiety, you probably already can guess what is coming.  If you know you know – and I did not know most of my life what that kind of anxiety looked like until the past decade or so.  I had just passed mile 5, was clicking along just fine, but was so anxious that I hadn’t seen my family yet.  Of course they were there.  They had been there.  Hubs had so many pictures just from the run course.  But in that moment I did not know that, and was overwhelmed by that anxiety feeling.  I ran up on aid station #2 and just lost it.  I melted down right there sobbing that I couldn’t find my family, and could I borrow a phone so that I could call them?  And can I just tell you, the volunteers at these races are literally THE BEST.  Like hands down, would give their shirts off their backs, would run that last mile for you if they could.  The one in transition in 2018 took off my bike shoes and put on my run shoes since I lost all feeling in my fingers on that cold bike ride.  A godsend.  I cannot put into words what these strangers meant to me in that moment, these ladies immediately grabbed their phones and kept saying “we got you”.  One couldn’t get hers to turn on since it got too hot, the other got hers working and I accidentally gave them my own number first (whoops!) then finally gave them hubs number.  He picked up after the second ring, and later said he almost didn’t pick up but then seeing it was a Houston number thought it might be medical so he answered.  Me sobbing into the phone probably didn’t help things but once I asked where they were and I couldn’t find them, he immediately knew what was up.  And was like we just saw you, and got so many pictures! I could hear munchkin in the back ground yell we just saw you mom! I laughed through my tears and told them I loved them.  Then handed the phone back to the volunteers and thanked them so much.  Literally, THE BEST.  As I headed away from the aid station I refused to berate myself for the next 8 miles, and instead gave myself grace in that moment.  Found my rhythm again, and not long after ran into my friend Dawn, whom at the triathlon club meeting in January we had been the ones to be like “Are you doing Galveston? I don’t know, are you? Let’s do it!”  I shared my meltdown story with her, we talked about the gnarly bike, and how grateful we were for the beautiful weather! She headed on out in front, and I got back into my groove, and saw the fam as I headed back around the second loop.  I was on the other side so I had planned to stop briefly for hugs as I went back around again on the third loop.  Honestly, looking back I wasn’t surprised that I didn’t see them, and I shouldn’t have been.  On a race run I can get into a flow state where I can block most things out, like even if I scan the crowd, my brain doesn’t actually register anything.  I can achieve that state in a pool in a challenging set, but harder to do out where you have to be more aware, like an open water swim, or a bike ride, or even just a training run.  Even on the bike in a race, we are still out with traffic, so it’s a necessity to still keep your wits about you.  But on the closed run course where we were running the same 3 loops on mostly a closed course I could get into that deep flow state just focusing on pushing myself and nothing else.  Except for that tiny off-road section in the sand and rocks, then I needed to make sure I wasn’t going to roll an ankle, lol!  So I was staring down loop three, still feeling great even on the trashed legs, even after post meltdown.  Actually stopped to give hugs and kisses and high fives to the fam on this loop.  Then it was time to finish it.  3 more miles, I got this.  In previous half ironmans I’ve always gone out pretty fast, and struggle to hang on until the end – the exception was Longhorn 2012 where I descended each of the 3 loops and that one is still my fastest run off of the bike in 2:03.  But this run was just as well executed, and those last 2 miles I was able to push pretty hard, and pass people along the way.  It’s usually the other way around, people are passing me.  My last mile was my second fastest mile in my half marathon that day, I felt like I was flying!  I felt so strong out there, and as I ran hard into the finish, I felt nothing but gratitude for finishing #9!  Not a PR but to be within 10 minutes of my PR (that I got on this course 4 years ago!) I was ecstatic!  The fam was right there, and munchkin of course was fascinated by the medal, and got a few of her own at her gymnastics competition not too long ago.  She said she was so proud of me, and I couldn’t have kept the tears from flowing if I tried.  She asked if I was excited about the medal, and I said that the medal itself is fun, but what it represents means even more.  She doesn’t quite get that yet, lol, to her it’s a pretty medal!  But one day, I hope that she understands that it’s always about the journey.  The process.  What you learn along the way.  I hope I always make her proud.  She inspires me always.  As do all my kiddos.  It’s hard to put into words how much they have impacted me over the years, those I have taught/coached.  Many of them are grown up now, with families of their own, out there kicking ass and taking names out in this world.  I am a better human being because of them.  It is this journey as a whole that will mold us into who we are meant to be if we let it.  Lean into it all.

 

RUN = 2:13:10

TOTAL = 6:06:15